I dropped my two youngest off at VBS this morning, and was congratulated by a mom of one of my Catholic preschool CCD students. She had just learned that we are expecting #10. When her husband heard the news, he said to her, "Come on honey, maybe we'll get a girl this time if we try again!" She said that she truly believes that God doesn't give us anything we can't handle, but that she does not think she can handle having any more kids, and is pressuring her husband to have a vasectomy. This hit me as a little ironic - she has her kids in Sunday school to learn the catechism and foundations of our faith, and the Church has not changed it's position on artificial birth control or sterilization, despite the number of professed Catholics who would rather believe otherwise. Then she went on to tell me that her mother, in her early 20s, (40 some years ago) had 4 children in 5 years, and her doctor said, "I'm not Catholic, but you need to give it a rest" and talked her into an IUD which she wore for the next thirty years. It then became clear to me, how she could justify her need for control. I understand here that I may be coming across as judgmental, and I certainly do not mean to be! I have struggled with taking the "easy" route myself. My husband likes to be in control. He likes things orderly. He likes to have a plan and the ability to execute it well. He likes predictability. But in this one area of our lives, he has always willingly given the control to God. So many people, upon hearing our news ask me what his reaction was upon learning I was pregnant AGAIN. I almost always say that he's pretty proud of himself! But truly, I love that he has never once questioned or implied that the timing was poor, or that we would have to sacrifice anything extra for an extra mouth to feed. He sees each of our children as the blessings they are, and has from the day we started our family, 24 years ago.
We have not yet agreed as a family on the name for our newest member, a baby girl, due in November. I LOVE the name Faith - not just how it sounds, but what it means. I am 46 years old. I will be almost 47 when she is born. My mother was 46 when she had me, the last of 7 children. Faith is the greatest gift my parents gave to me, and I understand its value more and more the older my kids get. For me, faith is the reason I am at peace in the middle of chaos (most of the time...). Faith got me through my husband's deployments to Iraq and sustained me through a year he was in Okinawa, when our 5th child was born. Faith is how I deal with raising children and letting them out into the world - with the knowledge that they belong to God and He will watch over them when I cannot. Faith is how I can celebrate the fact that my mom lived a long life and not agonize with grief about how much I miss her. I talk to her all the time! And I am certain she hears me. I do believe she and my dad picked this baby out from among Heaven's angels, just for us. And I believe they laugh as they watch me muddle through motherhood. Faith is why I am delighted at the thought of having another baby, despite the fact that there are risks and uncertainties, and no guarantees. My Dad used to say that he was often mistaken for my Grandfather. People would refer to me as a "mistake", and he said his response was that I was a "surprise, but never a mistake". That is what my dear baby is - a wonderful surprise! A gift, a reflection of our faith.
